Love hurts...
sumtimes... you wanna escape fr things
unfortunately u can't get rid of it
u didn't mean to go for it
it comes to u
it hurts
too deep...
the reality that i try to escape...
try not to think abt it
but i can't...
it keeps popping up
in my life
why can't i lead a normal, hepi life
y must it always hav to be complicated..
y do i hav to make choice in life?
and the choice is the matter of life and death...
oh my god...
i feel terribly sad rite now...
i actually cried while typing this blog...
aaarrrrgggg...
my tears can't stop fr streaming...
god, i need strength...
i'm not a strong person...
i dun know wat shuld i do...
at one hand
i hav my happiness...
but i'm trapped with the situation...
its killing me inside...
but the happiness is priceless...
at the other hand...
i got nothing...
no happiness...
but i'm free...
but still...
it's killing me...
i got no strenght in letting my love go...
but i hav to...
i hav to do it...
i'm ruining my own life...
and other's also...
it will be getting worst fr time to time...
but wat shuld i do...
i can't...
i'm trapped with my own feelings...
God... plz help me...
i'm tired of hurting
crying...
waiting...
somebody help me...
plz...
i'm dying of hurting....
love is hurt...
14:04;
Plans and Future...
at my home...
posting blog...
i da kat umah!!!
bes tak...
reach ard 7pm td...
skrg nie nak kene kemas bilek
coz i wanna make-over my room...
new paint...
new book shelves...
new bed... ?
huh? really ah?!
byk duit...
yuran lom bayar lagi...
n skrg nie raya cine ke raya puase?
hehe...
watever...
i still hav to do the make-over
rearrange everything...
coz i've already started bring back my clothes...
books...
cadar...
files...
notes...
and i don't like to scatter my things ard...
u know me rite...
i like to organize my stuff...
so... everything must be ready...
before i leave IIUM...
wat? me? leaving iium?
finally?
waaaa.....
tak sabar...
bestu bleh kawen...
isy! kawen? dgn sape?
i said to one of my fren that it's gd
coz finally she patch up with her ex
she said yes... but she still has to finish her study
so blom bleh game
she said i'm lucky...
coz da bleh game...
mmg da nk game...
tp mcm mane nk game...
gameboy tkde...
wakakaka...
tak klaka ek?
k lah...
tkpe...
klaka laaa!!!
bosan ah...
balik uia tkde sape nk di looking forward kn...
balik sg pn tkde sape nk di looking forward kn jgk...
(family exception ah eh... of coz lah nak jumpe family,
i mean yg tu... alah... tu... hehehe)
am i beginning to sound like a desperado?
no rite?
cume... biase lah
da mkn tua...
wen u see all ur frens da settled down
da serius wif their relationship
u tend to feel that u're very old already...
furthermore u dun hav sumone...
old+stress...
hehehe...
actually...
bkn kemaruk naa nk kawen...
i do have plans...
nak smbg blaja...
keje...
kumpul duit...
balas jase abah n umi...
bagi family senang...
beli kereta...
nk beli condo... (uuuhhh...)
and i dun want to get attach
b4 i get to hold all these things...
nnt kene share dgn suami...
tk nk...
kedekut ek...
hehehe...
no lah...
i only wanna see my family senang dulu...
coz i already saw how struggle they were
wen brought me up...
fr 1 day old...
until now...
tp... kalau nk kejar tu sume...
nnt da tua br kawen...
dpt anak umur da brp...
i tk nk umur i dgn my anak2 jarak jauh sgt...
nnt kalau da tua i tk dpt nak catch up dgn dorg...
tk up-to-date... tk open-minded...
nnt my anak2 ckp...
"umi... umi ni obit ah..."
tak nak!!!!!!
hmmm...
ntah lah....
21:12;
Lepas Geram
in my room...
posting blog
how come uia so generous today?
hmmm...
oh ya!
today is the first day of pre-reg rite...
tak prasan lah plak...
maklumlah
tak yah kene pre-reg lg!
hehehe...
dun wori
ur time will arrive...
soon...
aku tgh binget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
plus marah gler....
mulut nie rase nak maki hamun je...
i can't even stop myself fr cursing
some ppl juz suke nk jolok sarang tebuan...
some ppl juz tak syg mulut...
its not that i can't stand jokes
well... i don't think dats a joke!
tu cari pasal!
knp nk kene cari psl!
aku tak kacau ko!!!
bodoh!
baghal!!!
^$#%#$^??%!!!
kpala ****
*tuuuutt*!!!
sori guys!
tgh binget gler!
n tgh tahan marah...
perangai mcm s***
luckily i can still control my anger...
kalau tak da bertumbuk da...
ape? ingat aku tk berani nk tumbuk?
jgn cabar k...
slmt kat luar
kalau kat uia ke...
mmg aku da tumbuk!
peduli ape kalau putus kawan!
tak payah la ade kwn mcm gitu...
tak mati laa!
again... i'm not the type yg tak leh bergurau...
lame... bosan... so serious...
dgn yg lain2 itu ari ok je...
lagi kutuk2...
but all of us knew
its juz a joke!
main2 aje...
saje nk kecoh2...
furthermore...
nk riak sgt watpe
yg kaya tu dorg sume...
kite bkn dpt ape pn...
yg ko nk serius sgt tu apesal?!!
lagipn...
its the fact dat everyone agreed!
liverpool is a legend!!!
the only english team who got 5 champion league title!!!
countless of english league champs!
FA cup winner
League Cup winner...
chill ah korg...!
baru naik beberape tahun da act!
team baru mng a FEW title da sokong mcm nak ape
yelah...
standard... team yg mng yg sll org sokong!
tak cool lah eh org mcm gitu...
real supporter like me will always support a team
no matter how bad dey played...
sume ade ups n downs pe...
football is very unpredictable!!!
contoh terdkat
brazil @ world cup 2006
kutuk lah dorg...
i'm still their no. 1 supporter...
i support both Brazil n Liverpool since primary school...
so, ppl out there...
jaga sikit mulut tu k...
jgn nak riak mcm bloody *tuuut*
org lain sume chill
ko je yang *tuuuut*
*tuuuut*
*tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut*!!!
20:13;
SIn Vs Thai
my blog is still under construction, hehe...
i will add here n there fr time to time...
i love this skin
steven gerrard is so cool...
so i love football bcoz the guys are cute?!
no way!
but still no harm rite to feast ur eyes...
with the beautiful creation of god
i'll juz appreciate it, hehe...
but that's only part of it...
terrible players won't turn me on
only for a few exception for singapore players...
*wink* wink* ;p
hey! hope it won't be too late to congratulate our team!
congratulations boys...!
although i hav to admit how terrible they played
we hav quality players actually...
but the lack of coordination n teamwork
n terrible guidance fr our captain...
make the game was thai's...
they're good...
they're bad...
boooooo thai!
poor sportmanship...
plus terrible reffree...
boo again...
but the most heart-breaking moment was the day after the game!
my mum n sis got to not only see them
but talked to them, hold them
n took picture with them!!!
aarrrggghhh...!
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so how u guys feel?
binget kn!!!!
haha...
so guess how I FELT?
alam shah is so damn cute
n to my surprise he's tall n woooah!
great body...
hehehe...
but he's married...
ouch!
damn!
@$@^$^$%@$%^!!
wat a waste!
anyone know die ade adik ke... abg ke...
*wink* ;p
eh, mampos aku kalau org kasi bini die baca ni sume...
eh tak lah...
bkn alam shah...
i was talking abt the guy i met at shah alam...
cute gler...
a footballer also...
(",)
neway... wen i reached home yesterday...
i was greeted by a 32" Sony Bravia LCD...
eh, hold on...
we didn't purchased it...
we got it for FREE coz we continue our contract with Singnet
u guys must always look ard for any promotion
nowadays they gave pretty good deal
sumtime free LCD or home theatre or laptop...
eh! wat am i doing?
am i a Singnet promoter or wat...
hehe...
just to share wif u guys...
mmm... hehe...
i added one new jacket in my wardrobe
adidas of course...
an Authentic Liverpool Retro Jacket...
sumone gave it to me... (",)
how sweet...........
thanks dear.... (",)
So coooool rite?
i know...
hehehe... (",)
17:09;
Under Construction
my blog is under maintenance...
just don't bother for the ugliness of this blog...
wat matter is the content...
hehe... (",)
but i will still post my blog...
15:05;
Fantasy Vs Reality
we always hope the best fr the one we love
we always have this kind of expectation...
for them to do the way we want...
if they did...
that was the most happiest moment...
we're living on cloud nine...
well... that's fantasy...
the reality is...
ppl change...
we hav to face that dreadful fact...
changing is good...
but wat if sumone change
to sumting that we find it hard to accept...
used to be very caring
but now not...
b4, always tried their best to find time to spend with us
but now... not anymore
even phone calls are very rare...
always be there wen i need...
but now...
he's there... but i know his mind is sumwhere else
he didn't give full attention like he always did...
ofcoz i feel sad with this changing
but wen asked...
nothing has changed
nothing has changed
nothing has changed...
now he's so far away fr me...
this long distance relationship
is very hard
wen he was here
we argued abt so many things
coz he can't manage his time
n we seldom met...
even to talk to him was very hard
wen called in the morning
he's working
evening... he had class
night... he did his asgmts etc
mid-nite... already asleep...
tell me who can bear with this situation...?
not 2 or 3 days...
but EVERYDAY!
but that was some old stories...
alhamdulillah... we still together...
despites countless of arguments...
gosh... no matter wat...
i can't never hate him
or be apart with him
wat should i do?
obviously he's not for me...
"Aku bukanlah untukmu...
meski ku memohon
dan meminta hatimu
jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya...
untuk diriku..."
and now... he's so far away...
the kingdom of Far Far Away...
both are still trying to adapt with the situation...
so far so good...
no matter wat i must accept that
he's a full-time career man now...
more responsibility for him...
but...
i'm in a terrible dilemma...
since this is my last semester here...
i only left with 2 months...
here in iium...
in m'sia...
of coz i'm so hepi...
finally i will grad... insyallah...
n i don't hav to stay here at this
terrible place...
actually not so bad...
it juz dat this is not my home
no matter where u go
there's no place like home
it's ok for not to be at home
as long as ur family is with u...
rite? (",)
since i left with only 2 months...
i will leave m'sia...
n he must go on with his 18 months training...
he can't visit me...
n i will not come here...
meaning that
last 12 january 2007
was our very last meet....
in our entire life...
we will not be seeing each other anymore
i cried every nite
thinking of this terrible nightmare
the reality that i hav to accept
i knew fr the beginning that
this will happen
but i can't believe it
it already happened...
my heart breaks... bleeds...
no matter how we argued before
hey... nobody perfect...
he's the only one who ever knows me
the only one who can never makes me hate him
no matter how hard i tried
he always know how to win my heart back
i can't hate him
i can't leave him
but in the same time...
i can't be with him...
this is the most terrible disaster had happened in my life
it is fine to love sumone
n he don't know abt it
n he don't respond
rather than to love sumone
n he don't know abt it
but he's very close to u
care abt u... be there for u...
n u won't dare to tell him
n he's not for u....
God...
plz help me to be strong...
"the perfect way of love
is not by loving the perfect person
but to love the imperfect person
perfectly"
22:29;
Sg Vs Thai
adusss... punyelah lame tggu nk pkai net...
there's more than 30 PCs here
but only 6 can be use!
believe it or not...
n this keyboard is getting on my last nerve...
u hav to press it real hard...
n the letters come out
one by one...
slowly...
*ketek...*
*ketek...*
*ketek...*
tp still smgt nk post blog...
hehe...
ok2...
nk ckp psl...
BOLA!
Sin Vs Thai last wed...
that game was the most
*tut...* *tut...*
*tuuuuut...*
@#%$*%@$#!!
game ever!
first half...
i counted that more than 10 thai players
fell down...
one by one...
5 of them kene usung keluar...
sg players too rough?
NO laa!
it was the thai's tactic...
taktik kotor...
bwk bola sikit jatuh...
langgar sikit jatoh...
tk langgar pn jatoh...
ape motif?!
1. i tink they just love to lie down
n feel the greeness of sg's field...
haha...
2. they save their energy...
while sg players played their heart out
they just played ard...
it's so obvious that wen 2nd half
none of them jatoh
n sg players sume da pancit...
*tsk... tsk...*
3. so that our players takot nk dekat dgn dorg
since dorg da jatoh b4...
mayb for the 2nd n 3rd time our players will get booked
padahal tak salah pape...
dorg yg kene booked... red card terus...!
binget tau tak...!
then came the most -embarassing-childish-tk paham knp emo sgt- moment
at 82mins, sg dpt penalti...
alam shah dijatuhkan
but they protested...
its normal lah...
for players to protest at that kind of situation
but they stop the game for 15mins!
that's not normal at all!
n all the officers kene pujuk dorg to play on...
sg officers... m'sia officers... all of them!
dorg brp byk punye besar!
sampai org nk kene pujuk!
n ape yg nak takot sgt...
blom tentu gol...
(tp nsb baik Bennet scored although his kick gave me heart attack!)
furthermore... ade 2nd league lg this sun...
kat bangkok lg...
relax ah...
bkn Asia Cup...
baru Asean Cup...
kalau World cup mcm mane gaknye...
satu2 terus bunuh diri bile reff kasi penalti...
Booo thailand...
tp yg menghairankan...
they added 12mins after the penalti kick...
thai was the one who do the time wasting...
after the penalti kicks, add 1 or 2 mins is enuff laa...
kasi muke sgt... bsar kepala...
aaarrggghhh... binget!
but one thing...
i salute our players...
no matter wat thai did...
kicked them, annoyed them...
sume relax je...
tk gadoh blk...
even sumtimes it's so obvious that thai nk cari gadoh...
tp kite cool...
kalau aku da bantai sey sume...
hahaha...
watever it is...
i hope sg win this sunday...
biar padan muke thai...
let's everyone prays...
amiin...
"Gapai semua jemariku
rangkul aku dlm bahagiamu
ku ingin bersama berdua...
selamanya..."
21:36;
