ok shaddap, so liverpool lose! so...? err... first in EPL... never mind i'm not furious with the team, especially my dear Gerrard dey played well, ok, put in effort...
But the Referee! son of the ***** $%$^&^&^%&&^&$!!! $%#$^%#$%!!!!!!!! %^$^&&^&^*%^%^%%^%!!!!!!
merepek punye ref nampak sgt berat sebelah he hate liverpool or what?!!! the penalty for Reading was so OBVIOUS is outside the penalty box!!! its one foot away bukan sipi sipi ke ape jauh sia...! bodoh punye Ref!
then, 3 times, i repeat THREE or maybe more liverpool player dijatuhkan kat penalty box But NO penalty!
sampai commentators die ckp liverpool deserves 3 penalties but not 1 was granted but Reading get the penalty that should not happen
even the foul sume sikit2 liverpool punye salah the free kick and everything! aarrrggghhh! i'm furious with the REF!!! B*b*!!!
watever it is, i hope liverpool will win well, MUST win this tuesday match against Marseille Nur pls watch it for me its an important game antara hidup dgn mati mesti i feel restless kat camp nnt...
Good Luck my Dear, and your team have faith in you and another thing, i dun understand why Gerrard was replaced 20 mins before the game ended Gerrard is the player that can play under pressure in the situation like yesterday we need him coz he inspires other players he's our captain anyway but nevermind, i'm not angry i'm ok...
i'm going out now got to buy some stuff for the camp i haven't pack yet!
ok so, i'll be away for 10 days... after the camp then to k.l pray for my health and may i be strong and tak penat thru out this 10 days...
will miss my family my frens my dear Gerrard - u take care k, i love you and i will miss u like always...
mmmmmuuuuaahhhsss! for everyone...
Liverpool, YNWA... (",)
17:00;
Friday, 7 December 2007
Tiada Ertinya
Lara tiada akhirnya Pabila menatap resah Sepi hingga waktu berkubur Sayu makin membuku Di dada terhiris kalbu Adakah ini kan terus berlalu...? Apa nilainya jika sangsimu mengganggu...? Untuk kembali ke pangkuan dan bermesra denganku... Tiada ertinya di sini Tiada ertinya berkasih Semua telah kau bawa dan berlalu tinggalkanku Tiada ertinya menanti Tiada ertinya buatku Padamu diri yang merindu Apa yang kumahukan bagimu Tiada ruangnya berdiri dan memeluk dirimu ------------------------------------------------------------- i know, i've posted this song before but i dun know why, whenever i heard this song seems like the whole world pause left me with my feelings... only us...
i miss you...
00:12;
Thursday, 6 December 2007
My Blog My Say...
hei.. i'm back from joo chiat had a meeting there then i met some ex schoolmates swandy and... ala... lupe nama die and iman azan also...
so, beginning next week, my schedule will be like... ok, baru pikir je da rase penat... oooppsss... jgn takot penat...
Mon to Wed, 10 -12 Dec 07 there will be Kem Perkasa 12 at PA Punggol Campsite aged from 10-14 yrs old and we have 81 participants! we have to stop at 80 actually but still many calls come in... more than 100 applicants i guess ade yg da book for june next year! cane eh nak control 81 budak... errr... and i have a module on fardhu ain what is suitable for them ? i mean fardhu ain very broad... ape yg necessary for them eh? should discuss this with my boss tomorrow...
Wed to Fri, 12 - 14 Dec 07 Retreat, still at PA Punggol Campsite we will discuss about one year calender of event etc etc...
Sat to Wed, 15 - 19 Dec 07 Training at K.L ok so, 4 of us will be going to Pengasih for some training, observe what dey do dat mayb can be apply at Gen-Y
then for sure discussion, brainstorming after K.L trip coz when school re-open on the 2nd of january Mendaki will send minimum 50 youths! most probably 100 youths paham tak? with only like 3 staff... but then pak usop said, kak yati will be station at Gen-Y plus himself plus another new staff... please... we need that... working with Mendaki means more paper work for sure, every month reports... NUR@BBE... tell me about it... i just submitted 108 case registrations this afternoon... it's due a week ago actually but hey! i only hav 2 hands... i try my best k... handling Kem Perkasa, Carnival, Cases... Phone calls! tell me about phone calls...
sumtimes the caller tkde beri salam terus... "anak saya tak balik rumah bla bla bla..." and i was like in the middle of either, tgh buat expenes tgh buat report, statistics... other important thing dat required my full attention...
i'm not blaming or merungut cume mcm nak request operator je... like bile org call kite, operator yang angkat dulu
press 1 for Ain Society (transfer to HQ) press 2 for Gen-Y services (then a voice recorded explains) press 3 for NUR sevices (again a voice recorded explains) press 4 to for other services (EPS, financial assitance, other agencies) press 5 to speak to our staff then receptionist angkat if i'm free then the call will be transfer to my desk...
how's that?
ceh! perasan besar sgt sampai susah sgt org nak bebual... hehe... no lah... cuma sumtime when i'm focusing at a task i hate it if i have to work on sumting else coz end-up i will not doing it properly ade je yg tertinggal... any one agree? multitasking is good but it is not really productive... but hey! atleast i try... and won't stop trying... sumtime when i feel like giving up... i heard a voice... haiz... that voice that will always support me whenever i'm down but where is it? where is it now? haiz...
busy life i have huh? nasib baik i takde boyfren, kalau tak boyfren mesti lari... even my bestest fren ran away... i'm born to be alone i guess... i will never get one fren to be with me all my life maybe it is my fate...
tuhan takkan menguji seseorang di luar kemampuannya...
but i have to admit that i feel so lonely... very lonely... its killing me... how does it feel... when u used to have sumone to talk to to tell him everything what you have been thru today, yesterday, this whole week when there's someone laughing at ur jokes, laughing at ur merepekness wen u are actually very very tired but u still wanna talk to him coz after you talked to him, suddenly or crazily funny all ur beban, kepanatan, stress sume hilang...
when i walked at the mall, adidas boutique especially, liverpool merchandise... and i saw things that we always want or NEW product and i was like took out my phone dialled his number and... ok, stupid of me... we're no longer together... we used to... "eh, paham tak, tadi nampak baju tu bla bla..." and we're really really excited and i can't share the excitement anymore... poor me...
the restaurant, our favorite restaurant our favorite food...
but...
i know ppl out there will feel sick, and ppl will say i'm a loser i'm a freak or watever i dun like ppl to tell me they know how i feel dun tell me that, coz u won't understand, u won't know...
it's not easy and it's hard... very hard to re-adjust ur life... for more than 3 years he always there... to share, to talk to, to laugh with, to cry on... it's not easy ppl... it's not easy...
surprisingly, day by day, it's hurting me more and more... it's bleeding deeper and deeper...
racun bisa meresap dalam hati... lama2 akan jadi busuk tiada erti nya lagi... i can't feel my heart again... i juz dun have the heart to do watever things... watever i do is because work commitment if its not bcoz of work i'm so prefer to stay at home and undergo my football therapy let it be repeat games who cares, its helping me... it's the only thing that i can do to make me feel close to him and reading all the cards he sent to me, the e-mails, the smses, the voice record the pictures, our albums, even i can just stare his name and mobile no at my hp screen...
you guys sick of me? just change the url and go to other website my blog my say...
23:02;
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
If it's not happy ending, it's not the end
hola...
k, lambat... congrats dear, u win again... 4-0 against Bolton...
Bolton kalahkan Man-U 1-0 Liverpool kalahkan Bolton 4-0 = Liverpool lagi terer dari Man-U...
booo Man-U, haha...
ok so, gerrard assisted all 3 goals and scored a penalty... u're great dear, i love you... u put up a smile all over my face...
i smsed/ tried to call u thru out the game but i gez u still don't wanna talk to me i dun understand, i simply dun know why... God, help me... give me strength... i took time-off today one whole day...! hehe... juzt to take a break only today i'm allowed coz after this, my schedule will be very tight... busy... gosh...
but gez what i do today? woke up at 4.30am watched Man-U vs Fulham f*** Man-U won... but that's bcoz double R was playing see, they depend on this two fools not like Liverpool, if there's no Torres, we have Crouch we have Babel, Benayoun, Voronin, Kuyt... and Gerrard of course, hehe and Mascherano, your favorite...
ok the, i sleep and woke up ard 1... freshen up, went to Umi Dah's place for lunch watched Resident Evil 3 and i fell asleep towards e end went back home, bought all chocolatey food... ate again, fell asleep again wake up ard 9.30pm ate my dinner and watch G&G then my sis was like spotting me...
"kak zai bangun, makan, tido, bangun, makan, tido, bangun, makan tido..." err... iyyyaaa... hahaha... did i waste my holiday? NO... this is what i like to do... Tido, Makan, Tido, Makan... aku punye suke laa... hehe...
anyway... me, sis, bro and mother watched OM SHANTI OM at Jurong East Entertainment last night at 8.45pm... Running time: 2hrs 45 mins my first time watching Hindi movie at cinema and gez...
it's a GREAT movie... interesting, fun, entertaining... serious best giler i dun mind spending my money to watch it again... and for sure i'll buy the vcd later...
its about reincarnation, rebirth... incompleted love, seventies melodramatic son and mother...
and i like this...
"If it's not happy ending, it's not the end..."
i miss you...
23:51;
Sunday, 2 December 2007
Finally... i found you!
"Di mana letak syurga itu
Biar ku gantikan tempatmu dengan ku
Adakah tangga syurga itu
Biar ku temukan tempatmu dgn ku..."
Hi everyone!
i'm bushed...
ok, since monday balek malam
siapkan keje yg tak abes2...
Kem registration melimpah ruah
byk betol duit org kite eh...
ade yg antar bukan satu dua
tapi up to 6 pax!
walliau leh...
then thursday is the only chance balik cepat
but then, my mum suroh temankan pergi giant
beli barang2 utk kenduri on friday...
on friday paginya pergo Job Fair kat Jurong Entertainment
Mdm Halimah is the guest-of-honor...
balik ofis siap2kan keje
then start kul 3pm ade pre-camp...
sambil siap2kan write-up for carnival
pkl 6 pak usop nye kenduri haji...
kul 9pm bus sampai pergi sentosa
utk familiarization games and activites with the facilitators...
do the night walking and amazing race
then sampai BBE kul 12+
da mandi sume, ingat nak tido
then write-up lagi 6 blom abes kan...
budak2 sume ade yg main game laa, kat jaming room, bebual2...
i was so tired at that time
lagi pikirkan ade carnival at 4pm...
kul 4.30 in the morning
da menggigil tak bleh angkat, drag pun tak bleh...
teros ajak ziezy tido...
then tido lah dalam ofis
nasib muat dua org...
nasib ade sleeping bag
punelah sejuk nak mampos
padahal tak bukak air-con pun...
then i told ziezy
dun bother to wake me up
and pls dun wake me up
pasal die kene bgn awal
kul 9am ade carnival kat kampong melayu
paham tak? in one day kite ade 2 carnivals
kat Bukit Batok is Kampong Days Showcase carnival
kat Malay Village ade sales
so Youth Hub kat Bukit Batok
Gen-Y kat Malay Village
tapi nak tak nak tersadar2 jgk...
nak kunci la, duit la...
at last i woke up at 9...
then sambung buat write-up
10 posters of traditional games
our booth is all about traditioal games
and we decorate it mcm rumah kat tepi pantai...
backdrop die gambar tepi laut, pokok kelapa, rumah kampong
then ade pasir sume
jala, hammock, kain batik/pelekat...
the boys pakai baju silat
then the girls pakai baju opah and kain batik
style kan? hehe...
mmg kite punye booth yg paling semangat
ade gasing, bola tin, capteh, layang2, sepak raga, congkak, batu serembat...
ramai lah jugak yang main
even Madam pun main, hehe...
wrap up, pack kul 10 gitu...
sampai umah kul 11 gitu...
lepak sia...
lepak giler, tapi sempat singgah kedai kopi kat belakang
dgn si fikri sekali...
my mum datang the showcase dgn umi Dah sume bwk si fikri sekali
then si fikri ak sgt 100 plus
kite suro die g order sendiri
die pergi kat apek tu
die cakap...
"uncle, 100 plus satu...!"
haha... how cute...
balik lepaaaakkk terussss...
k lah, jap agi liverpool nye game
btw tadi g beli nie....
how's that? tebuka juga akhirnya hatiku utk membeli mu...
Mrs Gerrardinho...
this one my sis punye...
my collection except for the short sleeve one...
22:09;
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Liverpool 4 Porto 1
i love gerrard like so much i told my sis dat i want him to convert so that i can marry him doesn't matter how the person he really is i just want to marry him and bring me to Anfield so i can build my new life there with him far... far... away from here...
hey! i love liverpool too... so happy this morning coz they won they won a do-or-die match this morning
that's why i'm very sleepy right now i slept for only 3 hours? the match started at 3.45am so i slept ard 12am remind my sis to wake me up, set alarm... then when the game starts, i'm so very the sleepy... i dozed off for the first 10 mins and i dreamt that liverpool scored 1 by gerrard... haha... tapi mimpi mapek sey... liverpool nye jersey ade due kaler at the same match then 2nd half main kat shopping centre risse dapat free kick die tendang ah sekali tu goalpost die automatic sliding door and can't detect the ball so the ball can't go in keeper save ah mapek kan haha...
terus kuatkan mata tengok screen t.v... and thank God Torres scored! 18th min... bile die score je terus segar semacam...
then bile Porto equalized like ooouucchhh! cane nie? liverpool kene menang... tapi selamat the other game Besiktas tgh leading so tak pressure sgt...
masok 2nd half Torres score lagi! bestnye... and i was like lompat sorg2 mcm monyet nur da tetido.. nak pekik tak boleh takot sume org bangun paham tak perasaan org tak boleh pekik bile excited lompat2 je la all the way...
rasa mcm nak ref stop the game je da tak bleh tahan da... takot...
sekali tu kejap lagi liverpool dapat penalty daa... pasal Porto player touch the ball in the penalty box (tapi actually foul by liverpool player tau, oooppsss)
GERRARDDDDD!!! HE SCORED! HE DID IT AGAIN time die nak amek penalty tu i was like mesti tak goal nie sorry love for not trusting you... hehe... but deep in my heart i know u will score... hehe...
then, Crouch add one more goal... waa... si crouch nie asik score je tau good good, keep it up!
Final score Liverpool 4 Porto 1
next match against Marseille Liverpool MUST win... Ya Allah semoga Liverpool menang, Ameennn...
yesterday, balek mlm... i don't wait for others coz i really have to go or else i'm scared if i finally cry in front of them i can't afford to control my tears wen i walked out of the office tears rolling down my cheek why u do this to me? why? then i took a cab and i cried and cried i feel so hurts... then i thought of running away or... ok gone for holiday ok zai, next pay simpan duit k after Kem Perkasa i wanna take a break and go far far away from here... i need to heal myself... only me can heal my own self...
Mengapa yang lain bisa Bercinta dengan mudahnya Namun kita terbelenggu Dalam ikatan tanpa cinta...
09:37;
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Atas Nama Cinta
Aku wanita yang punya cinta di hati Dan dirimu dan dirinya dalam hidupku Mengapa terlambat cintamu telah termiliki Sedang diriku dengan dia tak begitu cinta Mengapa yang lain bisa Mendua dengan mudahnya Namun kita terbelenggu Dalam ikatan tanpa cinta Atas nama cinta Hati ini tak mungkin terbagi Sampai nanti bila aku mati Cinta ini hanya untuk engkau Atas nama cinta kurelakan jalanku merana Asal engkau akhirnya denganku Kubersumpah atas nama cinta
Haiz... what a nice song the right song at the right moment see the clip
p/s: - tak jadi amek half day, too many to settle can't afford to delay it till tomorrow - skrg sorg2 kat ofis dah lah ujan lebat, lepas tu ade cicak kat tingkap - maseh sorg kat ofis blom makan, tak tau nak makan ape - da telan panadol, skrg rasa ngantok yang amat (makanan wajib everyday, 2 biji panadol pagi & 2 biji malam) - k dah, sekarang g tekan play button, tgk muka rossa sambil nyanyi sama2
16:05;
Open your eyes
hi everyone.... uuhh... i'm struggling... struggling myself to type, watch the screen, the keyboard... ok to open my eyes...
tons of works papers scattered around my desk files i dumped on the floor... too many things to do at one time but then when there's too many important things u always end up doing the non important one or like myself end up... termenung kjap tadi
like wat i supposed to do eh? suddenly my head blank... can't picture anything oh ya... i can't open my eyes like normal ziezy spot that my mata bengkak... and actually from yesterday i sense sumting wrong with my eyes kelopak mata plus kening terus sampai ke kepala sakit giler it's like wen i touch dem, sakit! cam bengkak gitu ah why ah? kepala nak pecah nie...
mmm... tapi sempat memblog juz wanna take a break for a while da beberapa hari masuk ofis terus buat kerja sampai malam da 2 hari i skipped my brunch and lunch
oh god... its so painful!!! i wanna take half day la can or not...?
oouuuccchhh...
p/s: tomoro at 3am, Liverpool vs Porto wish u luck gerrard love u...
14:00;
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Football Therapy
i woke up in the morning and i realized that sumting wrong with my head sumting wrong... oouuuccchhhhhh... sakitnye... mcm ade batu besar kat dalam my kepala or is it inside my brain?
sakit sgt... mata kanan berair je terus ke hidung there goes... ingatkan da baik sekali tu maseh sakit... more than a week already...
pergi doctorlah zai...
eh, fikri... isy bdk nie, pkai sluar dalam je... hehe haha...
gez what he said to me? he whispered to me and said...
"main game nampak, main game nampak..." haha...
aik, die amek liverpool nye scarf and pegang mcm kat stadium gitu... aiyya... salah match lah fik... kite tgh tgk everton vs sunderland... bukan liverpool nye match...
hehe... coz smlm tgk newcastle vs liverpool die nie pun ade then i smgt pkai scarf kat bahu...
sakit2 stress2 bleh tgk bola eh... tell u what football is my best therapy ever bcoz i'm too engrossed with the match it makes me escape from this world to my own world not to think of other things... juz to escape from the real world... to escape from u-know-what... so here i'm watching a repeat though i knew the score 7-1... wow! hehe...
aarrgghhh... this nose irritates me... ok... half of my body from my head sampai my arm lemah, sakit... aduhhh... i can't stay this way there are too many things to settle within next week...
- NUR registrations -105 cases to be done! -due on wednesday - Kenduri and 2nd recce + overnight -on friday - Kg days carnival and kampong melayu carnival -on saturday - beli brg2 for Kem Perkasa and Kg Days carnival -to be done before thursday - Kem Perkasa registrations
and with my brain like dis! with my condition physically and emotionally
i need a break, i need a holiday i wanna travel out from here to sumwhere around europe... ok england ok london ok anfield then germany then sweden bestnye...
i'm happy, liverpool menang lagi... yeahhh! love u gerrard... he scored the first goal and assisted the other two... i'm happy...
then man-u kalah... huhu... bestnye... tapi arsenal, chelsea, man city mng... ceh! menyampah...
takpe2... btw, da beli da jaket tu... hehe... then i bought liverpool 2008 calender and towel
nak beli bedsheet plak ah nx pay haha...
mmm... it's ok if u don't reply my calls and smses it's ok if u don't call and sms me dun worry if u're online i won't im u... i won't dun be afraid of me k... juz go on with ur happy life i'm fine here...
i won't disturb u anymore that's my promise... because u choose this u want us to be like this right?
hey, u'r online! how excited i am to see ur name at the right bottom of my screen but dun worry i won't disturb u k...
i won't i won't i won't
like avril says...
I'M BETTER OFF ALONE ANYWAY...
13:19;
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
One Horrible Nightmare
hmmm... u said u forgive me but i gez u don't... my calls u ignore my smses u don't care
every hour dials ur number juz to check out how u do over there are u ok? are u alrite? have u eat? have u sleep? have u rest?
how's ur work? how's ur college? how's ur school? how's ur students? how's ur assignment? how's ur place? does it rain everyday? flooded?
u take care k i will pray for u from here... i always think about u i always remember all the things that u said
if u don't want to talk to me that's fine i'm ok...
i can talk to u, still... in my dreams... and ya! u remember that u recorded ur voice in my samsung hp las year, mmm... few days before raye?
ya... i hear that voice record like every night more like a lullaby or a bed time story juz to feel that u'r there with me before i close my eyes coz i'm afraid that wat if tomoro never comes
KAL HO NA HO
then i don't want to miss the last chance to hear ur voice... ur voice that always soothes me always told me that everything will be ok though sumtimes i know it won't be ok
oh god... i miss u...
please tell me that this is all a dream a horrible nightmare...
juz one horrible nightmare...
i'm sick, still sick ppl around me told me that i should see a doctor or juz rest at home
my nose irritates me my throat sore my head spins
i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life
hey! hey! dun say that dun say that he ruined my life or i give up my life bcoz of a guy? dun tell me that!
he is my life! he is my life! he is my life!
00:10;
Saturday, 17 November 2007
R21
i'm sick can feel the virus all over my body my face, my nose, my eyes, my mouth, my throat my shoulder, my neck, my back, my hand my knee, my thigh, my feet... my tummy always grumbling hungry and wanna puke coz i don't eat well...
i hate dis i wanna go out with ma sis to peninsula later we see how laa...
anyway, yesterday me, ziezy and nafis watched Saw 4... tell u guys, it was such a disgusting movie no wonder rated R21 and so the journey begins...
ziezy and nafis were unsure at first whether to watch it or not... coz they are only 20 years old... and i was like, buat bodoh je lah die tak mintak ic punye... (never watch R21 movie before, so dun know the rules, or u can say that saje je nak deny the rules, haha)
then i called GV booking line, book for 1910hrs show at Vivo City but we're late! we went out from Gen-Y at 1815hrs we're supposed to be there half hour earlier to collect the ticket... so, we took a cab and like asked the cab driver to drive faster he nodded but... haiz... takpelah... biar aku je yg drive peh lembab!!!!!!!!!
sampai vivo terus lari pergi GV... beratur kat booking line sekali tu...
"Sorry mdm, u'r late... we sold ur tixs already..." so i asked him, are there any seats left? luckily there are and right at the centre and he allowed me to purchase it there without asking me to line up at the other line (wat a line!) and without charging me the booking fee... hehe...
bought nachos and popcorn... mcm2 doa baca bile nak masok... ziezy purposely pkai heels and dress mcm kakak2 baru balek ofis gitu while me in jeans and sweatshirt (doesn't matter coz i have an id) nafis! problem... da lah muke mcm budak2... susah btol nak men-tuakan die...
we planned that kalau die mintak id cakap tertinggal kat kereta... sekali 3 org pulak tu yang jage... 1 pompan melayu, 2 lelaki melayu...
melayu...! tolonglah melayu!
we can almost heard our hearts thumping!
i can never be able to lie without LIAR written at my forehead...
i choose the pompan melayu... here we goes...
*sraaaap* she tore the tickets and hand me the other half and she asked "i'm sorry but i have to look at ur id..."
i move to the side and start to search for my wallet ziezy and nafis were like "alamak... teringgal dlm kereta....!" she checked mine and said ok then she told ziezy and nafis "i'm sorry but u still have to show us ur id"
then lelaki melayu tu tanye kenapa... then asked cerite ape then he asked their age... ziezy - 22 nafis - 21 ya rite! haha
(FYI, tickets sold are not returnable)
then the guy said... "takpelah biar dorg masok" the girl: " boleh?" the guy: "takpe, ape2 aku jawab..." the girl: "ok, ko jawab...."
thank God! we thank the guy... and jalan selaju2nya tak nak pandang belakang... haha... mane lah tahu dorg tukar pikiran... hehe...
lagipun, i guess lelaki tu kasi masok coz the movie rated R21 because of violence elements in it, not sexual contents etc... hehe...
selamat... hehe...
penat ah, pening... nanti ah update... bye......
10:56;
Friday, 16 November 2007
Hurt
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were but I walked away If only I knew what I know today I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away Thank you for all you've done Forgive all your mistakes There's nothing I wouldn't do To hear your voice again Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There's nothing I wouldn't do To have just one more chance To look into your eyes and see you looking back I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away Oh, it's dangerous It's so out of line to try to turn back time I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself By hurting you
01:44;
One Week
one week... not like i don't try... i tried... trying... but... ok, i called, tried to call yesterday - twice juz now -thrice or maybe more than that... but, no respond..
i called him yesterday coz i wanna tell him that finally, his card arrived! oh God! thanks! its a huge card! no wonder it took more than a month hahaha... dabes raye baru dapat... but that doesn't matter...
i was lying on the bed when my sister streched her hand and pass it to me... and i was like speechless! and excited of coz... dari ngantok teros tak... nak bukak kad tangan menggigil... then...
haiz...
the words...
i was too excited that i forgot that we're no longer together i juz grabbed my phone and called him no answer... wen i tried again then i remember that why did i call him? though i know he won't pick it up isn't that hurt me more? then why i did it?
i want to tell him that isn't it miracle that everytime we sent cards for each other the phrases, the words written were always the answers that we're looking for....?
for example...
i wrote: this is our 4th hari raya together, rite? he wrote: do u realize that this is our 4th hari raya together
i wrote: this year i can't get to do hari raya shopping with u, u can't choose my heels... he wrote: i still remember we did our hari raya shopping together, i choose ur heels..
well, there's a lot...
but... i realized that, i can never share with him anymore...
i read and read the card again... i can almost hear his voice reading the card for me... tears rolling down my cheeks... i hug the card tight...close my eyes... remember the days and nites with him... remember the smiles, laughters, tears...
i put the card back scared it will get crumpled... close my eyes try to sleep... but i can't...
then today went sucks i just can't talk, smile, respond to people... i was in a daze all day... i can't laugh at people jokes... i even lose my appetite... i juz eat for the sake of energy
and i feel sick, migraine struck, dizziness... feel like to puke... i juz want to delete everyone i met and put it inside the recycle bin at the mrt, interchange, everywhere then delete it again so that i can't restore them...
all i wish for rite now... to talk to him for one last time...
and also i... i don't expext that i can get back to normal tomoro i juz want to be able to hold on i feel bad if the youths sense sumting or afraid of me coz of my mood swings i don't want to potray it i'm not potraying it i juz can't be myself...
God, please show me ways... help me God...
01:08;
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Please Forgive Me
It still feels like our first night together Feels like the first kiss It's getting better baby No one can better this Still holding on You're still the one First time our eyes met Same feeling I get Only feels much stronger I wanna love you longer Do you still turn the fire on? So if you're feeling lonely, don't You're the only one I'll ever want I only want to make it go So if I love you a little more than I should ... Please forgive me, I know not what I do Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through Please forgive me, if I need you like I do Please believe me (Oh believe it), every word I say is true Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you Still feels like our best times are together Feels like the first touch Still getting closer baby Can't get closer enough Still holding on You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin I remember everything I remember all the moves I remember you yeah I remember the nights, you know I still do The one thing I'm sure of Is the way we make love The one thing I depend on Is for us to stay strong With every word and every breath I'm praying Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you I can't stop ... loving you ... If u'r happened to read my blog please know that this song is for u no other word can i say
as we always said it's More than Words
Please Forgive Me...
23:00;
the MANAGER
Qzai 26 july 1983
Singapore
q_bosan7@hotmail.com
www.friendster.com/qhuzaimah
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my collection except for the short sleeve one...
